Redneck Crazy

High-cut jean shorts show off legs both smooth and hairy. Sleeveless shirts, camo hats and boots have officially sold out at every thrift store in the Auburn area. More committed men have a jaw line gripping onto the handles of their mustaches.

All of these things happening together can mean only one of two things: Alabama fans drove down for the Iron Bowl, or the Alpha Psi Rodeo is finally here.

On April 12th, Auburn’s biggest spring party will be celebrating it’s 49th anniversary.

The Alpha Psi Rodeo has grown into the largest single fundraising event conducted by Auburn students. Proceeds benefit local charities and organizations. Donations in the past have been made to the College of Veterinary Medicine, Storybook Farm Inc. and the Alabama Sheriffs’ Youth Ranches.

Alpha Psi is the only male fraternity associated with Auburn’s College of Veterinary Medicine. They have 40 active brothers, and in August 2012 construction was completed on their new fraternity house.

Country legend Alan Jackson will play this year to show that he is here for a Good Time just a short Drive from the Chattahoochee. He has more than 20 songs that have been on the top of the charts, more than 60 million albums sold worldwide and The Bluegrass Album debuted at number one on the Billboards Bluegrass Albums Sales Chart.

Before Jackson plays however, students have the chance to participate in the amateur rodeo. Bull riding, both electronic and live, bronco riding, calf roping, calf wrestling and a match of tug of war provide day-time entertainment. Traditionally small groups of fraternity and sorority members compete in the events.

For the rest of us, 12-ounce curls will be the majority of the movement for day.

Despite the general debauchery of the event, there are a few rules that should be followed.

1.    Don’t run on top of the port-a-potties. This happened early in the day last year. One brave poo-runner made it all the way across without being caught, but police were waiting on the other side for the second man who tried it. Of all the ways to miss a full day of Rodeo, this should be the most obvious.

2.    Don’t pee in public.One of the easiest ways to get a public intox or minor in possession is to pee in plain sight. If the outrageous lines and smelly mixture of poo, barf and urine are too much for you, you are better off peeing your pants and calling it a day than getting arrested.

3.    If you are a minor, avoid “free” beer on the ground. They are traps. Don’t do it.

When those three rules are followed, Rodeo becomes the best day in the spring to grow facial hair, get dirty and soak up too many rays of sun before kicking a few more back to Alan Jackson. War Damn Eagle.

As seen in the printed version of The Odyssey on April 2, 2014

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